


For Eternity (Extended)

by AtraEris, Catastrokey (orphan_account)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fighting, Gen, Lemon Squad, M/M, Malec, Shadowhunters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-10 21:33:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13510206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtraEris/pseuds/AtraEris, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Catastrokey
Summary: An expansion on the original 100 word drabble, When they find out that it might be possible for Shadowhunters to extend their life span, Alec tells Magnus. But their conversation doesn't go quite as planned.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started with a 100 word drabble and then Causteek decided hey you know what if Alec took that last comment the wrong way? So here it is, the fight. She promised she would resolve it, so to see things get worked out, you'll have to visit her page.

Warning serious Malec angst ahead!

For Eternity?

“Wait, so you’re telling me that because of our Angelic blood, if we don’t use our runes, we can be immortal?” Alec asked in disbelief.

“I mean, probably not immortal, but live longer, yeah. And, it’s just a theory right now,” Izzy replied, “But the evidence supporting it is solid. Our Angelic blood, in essence, protects us from the harm runes do to our human bodies. If we didn’t use the runes, the angelic blood would likely focus on protecting us from other things like aging. We don’t know for how long, but…”

The conversation continued but Alec wasn’t listening anymore. This was life-altering.

All he could think about was how he had to see Magnus. He was in the elevator out of the Institute before he even realized he was moving.

Alec couldn’t wait on the elevator at the apartment and took the stairs 2 and 3 at a time up to the penthouse suite. He barged into the loft without knocking, immediately searching the room for his love. Magnus stood and smiled. “Alexander!” he said in greeting.

Alec went straight to him without preamble, curling his hands in the lapels of Magnus’s jacket and crashing their lips together in a desperate hungry kiss. Magnus returned it with enthusiasm, instinctively understanding Alec’s need to be close to him, to display his affection. As Alec calmed a bit, Magnus pressed his forehead to Alec’s, keeping his arms around his neck and his fingers ruffling the hair at the nape of Alec’s neck.

“Not that I’m complaining,” Magnus said with a soft smile, “but what’s gotten into you all of a sudden, Alexander?”

Alec closed his eyes breathing deeply. He opened his eyes slowly and held the warlock’s gaze with steadfast solidity, his jaw tense with conviction and his voice steady and sincere. “I want to be with you for eternity,” Alec confessed.

Magnus smiled. “And I you,” he replied lightly. 

“And, I can be,” Alec continued his resolve crumbling and his confidence wavering. “I mean, I could be…Apparently… if I stopped… If I didn’t use my runes, I could…. We could…”

Alec trailed off unsure of how to explain the life altering situation. His gaze shifting to the floor.

Magnus turned Alec’s face back to look at him, his finger lingering under Alec’s chin. “Alec, what are you saying? Stop using your runes? But, your runes make you who you are.” He looked searchingly into his partner’s eyes, his brow furrowed.

Alec tried again, “They’ve done some… research. They discovered, that if I don’t use them, I can live longer. I could live with you, without aging. We could, we could be together longer…. Maybe forever…” His eyes never left Magnus’s, searching and hoping, his lips thinning as he pressed them together tightly, his chin trembling almost imperceptibly with emotion.

Magnus cupped Alec’s face between his hands, “Alexander, you are a Shadowhunter and your runes are part of who you are. I love **you** not how long I can have you.” He leaned forward to capture Alec’s lips again but their lips had barely met before Alec took a step away.

Alec shook his head in a small gesture, swallowing heavily. He blinked slowly and an unintentional flinch passed his features before he went blank. The hurt look on his face was almost more than Magnus could bear until the stoic mask slipped into place. The step between them was like a chasm that couldn’t be breached. Magnus watched the stone walls spring to life in Alec’s demeanor.

“So, you don’t want to be with me forever.” Alec’s voice was stone. “I’m just convenient for now?”

“Alexander, of course not!” Magnus attempted to step forward his hand reaching out to bridge the gap but Alec immediately stepped back, keeping the distance. Magnus’s eyes narrowed in hurt and disbelief that Alec could believe such a thing, his hand falling in to his side in the empty space between them.

“Alec, I’m trying to explain that I don’t want you to change for me. Your runes? It’s like my magic. I could never ask you to give that up for me. I wouldn’t want you to be anyone other than who you are. Your runes are a part of you, like my magic is a part of me.”

“I would love you with or without your magic,” Alec said, his tone harsh and accusatory. His eyes glued to Magnus refusing to look away.

Magnus shook his head waving his hand in a pish-posh gesture, “You can’t know that, Alexander. Without my magic, I’d be a completely different person.”

This was a topic Magnus had spent years pondering. His identity, how easily things could have been different. It was stark fact that he couldn’t change any of those things and to do so would change everything. It was a fact that was paramount to understand and accept if you lived for centuries.

But Alec hadn’t lived for centuries. He hadn’t learned to let go of the inevitability of those he loved aging and dying before him. He hadn’t come to terms with the fact that things were what they were and wishing for something different was a futile desire that only brought sadness and agony. For Alec, all of this was new. With the naivety of a first love, he was willing to do whatever it took to preserve the happiness, to try and hold on to something that time was determined to bring to an end.

“You don’t want this to last,” Alec said softly. “You just want another story, another lover to add to your list that you can flaunt out in the future. I’d just be another name you could drop.”

Alec adopted a higher tone his voice mocking and cruel, “Oh, a Shadowhunter. I haven’t enjoyed a Shadowhunter since Alec Lightwood and I tested the boundaries of a Stamina rune.”

The comment hit Magnus like a slap in the face and anger filled him.

“I DO NOT name drop. I have lived thousands of years…” Magnus began.

“Yeah and had thousands of lovers,” Alec cut in bitingly, “what am I but just one more? Nothing permanent.”

Magnus broke, “NOTHING IS PERMANENT!” he yelled the pain of the statement bringing tears to his eyes. “Nothing is permanent except pain and heartbreak. I have lived thousands of years, and YES I have had a thousand lovers but I have only ever been IN LOVE a handful of times, because Alexander it is rare. And it hurts. Because like everything else it is not permanent, and I’ve learned the hard way that trying to change that, trying to reverse it is just even more painful. Each time I’ve loved I’ve lost a part of my heart. I didn’t lie when I told you I’d closed myself off for centuries. I hid away from love, from what I know will end up being heartache and pain and grief that never ends. I know because it is still there from my former loves, but I couldn’t block you out. I couldn’t. You, Alexander. The Shadowhunter, Alexander Lightwood, exactly as you are, you made me want you more than I feared losing you.”

There were tears streaming down his face as he finished.

Alec’s face softened a bit and he attempted to bridge the gap, “Magnus,” he began.

But Magnus turned away from him. Unable to look him in the face anymore. “No, Alexander. There is nothing you can say right now.”


	2. Time Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Time out.” 
> 
> The words took Magnus off guard.
> 
> (a.k.a. the part in which Causteek gets preachy about how we as people need to learn how to fight constructively)

“Time out.” 

The words took Magnus off guard. He’d been all ready to kick Alec out and stew in his anger for a few hours until he was ready to forgive. He’d learned over many years that it was better for him to walk away from a fight lest tempers cause the involved parties to say something they couldn’t take back. He needed to step back, get to where he could let this fight go and move on. 

He’d learned a long time ago that it could be absolutely pointless to try and make the other person see his side. 

So when Alexander proclaimed those two simple words he was baffled enough to spin back around to stare at his boyfriend in confusion.

“Time out?”

Alec fidgeted, his hands wringing as he glanced up at Magnus before flinging them down against his thighs. 

“I know I get overly emotional when we’re fighting and I know you want to walk away and I just…. We don’t ever talk it through afterwards but this is too important not to talk about. So, I think we should take a time out. I’ll… be on the balcony.”

Alec turned away, but stuttered before he could actually move anywhere. 

“Promise you won’t leave?”

Alexander didn’t look at him, even as he whispered his plea. His back was ridgid, tense with frustration and worry. His usually busy hands hung at his sides, limp like they never were. 

“I won’t leave.” Magnus whispered back. 

Alec nodded and made his way outside. 

Magnus wasn’t sure what to do with this. He’d never had a partner who wanted to “talk things out.” Camille especially had only wanted to discuss things again so she could impress upon him how she was right and he was wrong. Talking about it hadn’t helped him in any fight, so he’d learned to just let things go. 

But that apparently wasn’t good enough for Alec. He wanted to discuss it and if nothing else, Magnus would try at least once.

Once 15 minutes had passed and Magnus could feel the burn of bubbling emotion lull within him, he walked out onto the balcony, two glasses of water in his hands. As he looked at Alec, sat with his eyes closed, face to the sky, just breathing in fresh air, he decided to go for a more jovial tone. An attempt to soften the mood before engaging in such a serious converstion.

“So… time outs?” 

Alec’s eyes snapped open, surprised but not upset at the sudden intrusion. His eyes flew to Magnus’ face, attempting to assess whether he was still upset or not but coming up empty of indicators. Magnus was as unreadable as if they were strangers, obviously steeling himself for another fight. 

“I… it seemed like a good idea. To take a step back without leaving so we could… cool off, I guess. Izzy was talking about how Jace needed to learn how to take a time out and I just... thought it could work for us, too.”

He looked up, his big doe eyes gleaming with emotions as he looked at Magnus. He took in a sturdying breath before continuing.

“I don’t want us to just keep walking away from each other.”

Maybe, just maybe, this would be different. Maybe Magnus could speak his side and be heard. Maybe he could listen to Alec and hear something other than insults and personal slights.

Maybe they could actually, honestly talk this out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Causteek: So basically, I just really want them to resolve their fights. Forgiveness in great but if you don't talk it out you will end up in the same fight over something else. Alec gets worked up and overly passionate sometimes and Magnus seems to walk away and then brush it under the rug so I thought the time out system would probably work well for them. 
> 
> And just in case you're interested in learning more about arguing constructively because it really is important to a healthy relationship here is an aggregate article: https://www.bustle.com/articles/164287-11-tips-for-arguing-constructively-in-a-relationship
> 
> It links out and references a lot of other sources so it's a good starting place.


End file.
